~ The Begining of My Spiritual Path

To start writing about my spiritual path, I have to start on what was like to be a child in those days. Spiritual people always told my mom and me, that I have the gift but I have never figure out what is that gift. I was around 5 or 6 years of age when I remember my mother going to Catholic Church by day and sneaking out by night into the voodoo priest with me. These voodoo places were full of people perhaps looking for answers as my mother. Some of the people were ill, poor and some wealthy. However, all looking for answers, readings from the other unseen world.

Every time, we came home from those places, my mom whooped me for my behavior. I came to realize later on that she felt embarrassed of me. Since although I was 5 years of age, I used to stare at people, tell them in an adult voice their past, present, and even from what they will die. This behavior of mine, scared people and embarrassed my mom dearly. I remember her telling me, “do not do this”, “stay with me at all time”, “Do not stare and talk to people” or “I whoop your butt when we get home”. I tried to please her all my life with the intention to make her at least to like me but I gave up thru the years on that matter. I remember she got into bad witchcraft, voodoo and everything was with intention to eliminate her enemies or people that wish her bad by doing bad to them. Later on, she walked away from it and embraced the religion with the same passion she once embraced pagan rituals. I saw her slowly turning into an advocate of virtue and dare to tell others that she was a saint sent by God and others were devils. Of course, the devils were all the people that do not agree with her way of thinking or her demands.

As she continue in this path, she continue shooting me down on my gift, saying to me that I have to fight it since that is the devil talking not God talking thru me. Then as I turn 15, she turned dangerous in her endeavors as so-called born Christian. She started to make up her own bible, saying that God talks to her into her dreams. However, to a rational or very Christian person, they would not believe that the voices my mother heard was coming from God itself. It was too odd; God is about love, not about jealousy and doing wrong things. At least that is the way I see him. Every time, I disagreed with her, she grabbed my by the hair and dragged me from the bedroom to the kitchen and believe me it was a long way. She bitted me up and when neighbors came to my rescue all she said was that I have the devil inside and she as a mother was to exorcize me for my own sake. I most tell you, I was exorcizing so many times I lost count. At the end, we both walked away from our path.

I had gone to every religion available and churches and did not find what ever I was looking for. I forgot completely about those years of abuse. I have walked so many paths and although I did not go back to a church, God has always being in my mind and in my life. I always think that things in life happen for a reason and there is always a reason for things to happen. I have never used the pendulum and just recently after serious events happen in my life striking me all at once in 7 days. I got a white paper, draw a cross, and wrote “yes” on the horizontal line and “no” on the vertical line. Lighted up a candle, took my gold cross and use it as pendulum above this paper with my most profound prayer to God. I do not remember what I asked or what the answer was. However, when I realize what I have done, it come the question “What am I doing? Why I am doing this? I jumped online searching for information and came upon dowsers and I remember my grandpa used a piece of wood (“Y” rod) to find water all the time but I thought that was old folk’s tales. However, it came to me that there is more into this and old memories came upon me of all those days in which spiritual people told me that I have a gift that I need to develop.

Through my whole life, I have believed that there is something about me, that I cannot explain. I do not see spirits but feel their presents. I feel them when they go thru my body leaving a tingly feeling on the back of my neck that goes from head to toes for a minute or so. Dying people I have come in contact has transfer their pain and sorrow by me touching them. I can tell when someone is lying to me or hidden information from me. I could tell the intentions of a person when I first meet them but cannot put into words, I just stay away from that person. I am 44 years old now and up to this day; I still find spiritual people that tells me that I have a gift that I need to develop. What is that gift in reality, I do not know. However, for sure I came to the end of the road in which I have to stop fighting it since I am tire. I have to embrace it and put it in the hands of God since after all; things in life happen for a reason and there is always a reason for things to happen. My journey just began...I need to pick up where I left that so call “gift”. We will see in time…………..